I have a child&reside in a nice apt. community in a safe family neighborhood–safety is a priority to me.I found out this summer that my neighbor once started&failed at having a non-profit to counsel&shelter women in recovery –drugs+alcohol+ domestic abuse.She blew 40K in grant money (it seems she spent it on herself -the story is +shaky!).She’s decided to try her hand at it again.. but out of her own apt. instead of a commercial property !!! She now has 1 woman living with her. I know about all the details because my neighbor told me about it herself this summer… as she moved in extra beds, etc! The woman who is living there now looks like an ex-prostitute real trashy. I am truly a kind person who believes in helping others BUT I’m worried that trouble will follow one of her "inpatients"… whether it be addict behavior or an ex who tries to stalk her out. I’m torn on what to do.I don’t want to blow someone’s fresh start.But I don’t want some whack job putting my family at risk.
You have no moral obligation to keep your mouth shut. This is your home (as well as the home of many other people) and you should have a reasonable expectation of what goes on around there. What this woman is doing is surely against the rules for your apartment community. The rules are there to protect the residents and try to ensure that everyone can live together in peace (same reason there are probably rules about not hanging your laundry out on the balcony, or playing loud music, or leaving derelict cars in the parking lot…).
If you/your property management company were to turn a blind eye to this, what about when the guy two doors down wants to open a food bank, and the woman over in the next building wants to start up an animal rescue center?
Noble causes? Yes. But none of them are appropriate for a residential community, and you are not a "bad" person for not wanting services such as these operating our of your apartment complex.
There are plenty of facilities where people who are looking for a fresh start can get help–places that are licensed and have certified professionals available. Even if your neighbor has good intentions (and is not being greedy or opportunistic), I can’t imagine she or her home are equipped to offer these women the best chance at recovery.
Best of luck to you!
Personally I’d pick my family’s safety over anyone’s "fresh start." If the area is not zoned for a shelter/clinic & she is not licensed to operate one she’s breaking the law anyhow.
Maybe hold off until you see something sketchy, but if it’s really worrying you just report it for the peace of mind.
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That’s probably her girlfriend or some kind of errand gal and you just don’t know it. Mind your business or you’ll be next on the list of people she does something to…. But maybe you could try to find out what’s really going on and get some proof if you really feel like doing the right thing coz you have a good heart and really care about other people’s safety…. Keep it on the downlow, be SMART how you find out stuff. Make sure you know what you’re talking about before you try running someone off.
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Psh.
You are truly a kind person as long as what’s wrong doesn’t touch you! You’re a truly kind person who believes in helping others as long as it’s not right next door! You’re a truly kind person who would report a neighbor for "harboring" people in recovery or helping them out of an abusive situation where they could possibly be killed…just because you don’t like the look of someone! You are truly nothing of the kind! The only whack job in your nice neighborhood lives in your apartment.
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legally, you should look at your lease and see what stipulations it has about how long a person NOT on the lease can stay. i have signed leases in the past that say a "visitor" cannot stay longer than 7 days with out notifying the apartment management.
i would not say a word to your neighbor about this. it will only cause trouble. i don’t see how you warning her to be really careful is going to keep you and your child safe. she has no reason to listen to you. if it were her neighbors safety she was really concerned about, she wouldn’t be doing this in your apartment complex.
morally, you are correct in being worried that trouble will follow one of her "inpatients". i am a recovering drug addict/alcoholic. i know the ups and downs i went through and what i put people through who tried to help me. i put everyone around me in danger. i read in a book one time that alcoholics/drugs addicts are like tornadoes tearing through the peoples lives that we come in contact with. i would be very careful and very leery.
check your lease and quietly talk to your apartment management about what she told you. don’t be afraid, you have to protect yourself and your child.
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life experience – now sober, healthy and happy for over 4 years
: )
I do not think it is legal to house these people in her own apartment.
Perhaps she is taking the grant money she was supposed to use to lease a place, and instead is just letting them crash at her place to turn a profit?
I would call Adult Protective Services and ask them. They may not be the right agency, but they will tell you who to contact.
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Why would the "whack job" have any interest in you or your family? If an abusive husband followed his victim, he’s only after HER, not you.
Personally, while I do see your point to some degree, I agree with Chris.
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You have no moral obligation to keep your mouth shut. This is your home (as well as the home of many other people) and you should have a reasonable expectation of what goes on around there. What this woman is doing is surely against the rules for your apartment community. The rules are there to protect the residents and try to ensure that everyone can live together in peace (same reason there are probably rules about not hanging your laundry out on the balcony, or playing loud music, or leaving derelict cars in the parking lot…).
If you/your property management company were to turn a blind eye to this, what about when the guy two doors down wants to open a food bank, and the woman over in the next building wants to start up an animal rescue center?
Noble causes? Yes. But none of them are appropriate for a residential community, and you are not a "bad" person for not wanting services such as these operating our of your apartment complex.
There are plenty of facilities where people who are looking for a fresh start can get help–places that are licensed and have certified professionals available. Even if your neighbor has good intentions (and is not being greedy or opportunistic), I can’t imagine she or her home are equipped to offer these women the best chance at recovery.
Best of luck to you!
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