My mother has 5 children living with her (under the age of 6), and her apartment is a DISASTER. I made food for them for breakfast one morning, and found an unidentifiable SOMETHING in her crockpot, and it was gross and moldy. Her apartment smells, she wastes all her money she gets from the government on her, and not the kids. I spent close to $100 at the thrift store to by clothes for them because that was all i had, and those are the only clothes they have. My little brother was SICK and he is only 2 years old, and she brought him to a relatives for the weekend with NO socks or winter coat! She can afford to pay a babysitter when she needs time to herself, but when my little brother was puking his guts out, with a high fever, she wouldnt take him to the doctors. I hate how she doesnt prioratize her children, and that I apparently need to provide for and parent my siblings.
They are not being taken care of as well as they should be… should i report her and take them into MY custody?
I am 18 years old, finished high school, and have a great support system of friends who already told me if i did choose to do this, they would completely have my back. I dont need my siblings going thru all the crap I went thru for the past 18 years. I live with my dad right now, but if i needed to do this, i could easily get an apartment. My step father passed away earlier this year… and im just really worried about the outcome of them.
help me please!!
and honestly, if i made one call to childrens aid, she would be screwed. I know your going to say " why would you want to do that to your mother and siblings?" but if you saw how much of a basket case my two brothers are, you would understand. I want them to live a normal, happy life. I told her as soon as my step dad passed that she should get them into counsulling…. but no. she didnt. She acts like a kid, and is very immature. I feel as if i am the one parenting her, and telling her "this is right this is wrong". She told me last month she thought she was pregnant… so i had to talk to my mom about safe sex! Isnt that supposed to be the other way around…?
She is very childish, and my siblings need an ADULT who will be there for them when they need someone, not someone who will completly blow them off.
I dont feel they are safe where they are right now. They are not supervised as much as they should be. They run into the kitchen, jump on everything, while she is off in her own little computer world. She pays attention to them when people are around, or if someone is taking pictures. Ugh.
What are your opinions?
yeah i think you should because you could give them a better life then what the have now
Yes call on her! Your siblings can’t live like that.
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Yes. They should not have to spend their lives sick, cold, and neglected.
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Right now you have to look out for the well being of your younger siblings. Your mom is old enough to take care of herself, but the kids don’t. They need a safe home, and a good environment. If you are able to provide that for them, good job to you. Hopefully everything will work out. Good luck.
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yeah i think you should because you could give them a better life then what the have now
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If your mom can really put on a front then I suggest documenting stuff before you call. Also be aware that your relationship with your mom is going to be ummm bad.
With that said you should definitely call. You should also research what programs are available for assistance because it is going to be hard financially and emotionally. You are going to need to show that you can support the kids and you also may need to take parenting classes before they will let you take care of them, especially because of your age. So seriously, do your research first.
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if your worried i would. if i was in the situation i would try to talk to her and tell her you will help her clean up around the house like one room a week in a month or two the apartment would be clean tell her she needs to keep the house clean for her kids and if if happens again i would give her a warning then report her to dcf. generations might be able to help too like bringing in a maid once a week to help clean depends on if she qualifies or not but if worth a try i wouldnt report her until your tried the whole clean one room a week thing and generations if you think you need to report her now do it.
i hope i was of service too you! have a good day i hope everything gos well
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family experiences
You sound like you have a very good head on you shoulders. However, taking on that responsibility at such a young is a BIG DEAL! If you called DCF on her, they may not just come in and take the kids, they may get her help. But she needs to be willing to get the help they ALL need. Calling them and having them come out to her house and open her eyes to reality. You will be doing the kids a favor in the long run. If not, they’ll be just as screwed up as she is. PLEASE do it for the kids.
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First of all, forget about any stigma that may come from phoning and reporting her.
She is supposed to be the mother, she is supposed to care for the children.
By calling in and reporting her, she may receive counseling or assistance to help get herself together to improve her parenting. My wife worked for years for Child Protective Services and the focus is no longer on "taking away the kids," but doing everything they can to "preserve the family."
As for you taking the kids on yourself, I would STRONGLY advise you not to. My reasoning here is that you’re only 18 and deserve an opportunity to get yourself a life. Otherwise, you’re setting yourself up for failure by taking on more than you should be reasonably expected to do.
Even in a worst case scenario, if your siblings end up in state custody, you will be able to visit and assist in providing for them. If you’re siblings are taken out of the home, they will likely experience what a "real" home life is supposed to be like. While they are in state custody, your mom will receive training in how to be a better parent and her case officer will write up a program for her to follow to get the family back together.
You have a lot of courage and must have a good sense of right and wrong to see what the problem is. You know there’s a problem. You’re an adult now. Do the right thing to fix it, especially for the sake of the young kids.
Good luck!
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I want to tell you where i am comming from before i give you options and advise. I just turned 20 and im the baby of the family. When i was little my mom and dad were never their and if they were they were drunk and on drugs. I watched my dad try to strangle my mom and my mom sleep with every male that came her way. We never had food. There were times that we didnt have electric and hot water. My mom was always having drinking parties and being a complete slob. i had head lice as a child for a long time and I was bounced around threw family until my dad got on his feet and took care of me. This is only a very small part but i wanted you to understand I KNOW what your going through. If someone wouldnt have turned my mom in then i could have been raped like my older sister…I was always sick too because of the filth…I think you would be making a very VERY smart decision by calling the authorities on her. DO not let your siblings live like that. Do Not make them suffer anymore. Your mom obviously is messed in the head (sorry didnt know how else to put it) or she just needs help.
Now here is the reality….you might not get the chance to take in your siblings. They might get split up. and put in homes. It all depends on certain situations. I dont want to scare u into not reporting her b.c i think you would be making the worst mistake of your life if you didnt. Its going to be hard at first but when you see your siblings living and feeling better you will know you did the right thing. I hope i helped you…I know what its like …. just one call is all it takes….if i knew who called for me i would at the very least thank them. Your a good kid….Buying them clothes and being a real parent to them….dont let them down….if you need someone to talk to you can find me on aim under .. Heyy Jens On Good Luck
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Yes you should. Even if she loves them she cannot keep them living there. It is extremely hazardous.
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I agree with Kat. Do some big time research, but it may be necessary.
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I think you should speak to your mum and help her tidy up the place and pop round for regular visits. If it carries on I think you should report it because the children are living in a neglected environment which can effect them when they reach adulthood.
Once you tell you mom, give her a few months to clean the place up and change the way she acts around the house. If she doesn’t change anything you should definitely tell someone.
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wow that would actually make an awesome movie
but in reality thats crap you should report her
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